This is life inside the Mall

The culmination of my 3 Days in the Mall experiment, “The Great Indoors" is available to read online at AvenueEdmonton.com. But be warned, it goes less into my psyche than the psyche of the Mall and city.

Day One

The Fantasyland Hotel elevator is a particularly chatty one. Everyone has one pressing question: What’s your theme?

“Truck room,” I tell the man wearing the lanyard from any of today’s four conferences.

“How’s your son like it?”

I don’t have kids. I sleep alone, in the back of a dented yellow half-ton and have to remember to turn off all the traffic lights before I go to bed. My carpet is made up of cartoon semis and stop signs. It would be my childhood fantasy if it weren’t for the wall-to-wall ceiling mirrors and four-person jacuzzi. This makes watching cleaning ladies hoist themselves into my bed to change sheets particularly unsettling. But, hey, it’s home. [continue reading]”

#3DaysintheMall is out! Find it in Avenue’s February issue.

#3DaysintheMall is out! Find it in Avenue’s February issue.

“3 days in the Mall” will be published in the February 2013 issue of Avenue Edmonton. Click here to find out where it’s distributed.

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My ride is here.

My ride is here.

Just had a nice goodbye with my friend Randy at the Windows 8 kiosk. Looking forward to running into him the usual way, at rap shows, double fisting Heinekens.

My lovely wife wants to know if I have time for Christmas tree shopping. I want to know if she has time to plan a funeral.

I see the sun. I see it. Kinda.

I see the sun. I see it. Kinda.

Recycling the same bacteria in the air for 72 hours does wonders for my throat. Itchy wonders.

"You’ll live in West Edmonton Mall for three days and document the experience of going
about your daily business within the confines of the mall. You can meet people there, you can do everything you’d normally do, but the only stipulation is that you can’t leave."
—The Editor
On November 26 to 29 Omar Mouallem will take this mission from Avenue magazine. Follow 3 Days in the Mall for a closer look inside the mall that changed it all.

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The Mission

The Author

Ask Me Anything

What's Your Earliest Mall Memory?